Category: Speaking

5/1/2015

Stop, Think and Then Speak: How To Get Through Tough Times When You Want To Lash Out

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You know those moments. Someone pulls your tripwire and a wave of anger comes rushing to the surface of your mouth. You lash out in hostility with unfiltered vengeance fit for a boxing ring. You keep going until you’re exhausted, yet satisfied. You have successfully attacked your opponent, who lies shocked in silence by what you have just said. You couldn’t help it. The words came rushing out so easily. And you were so angry at your opponent, colleague, loved one, staff member or friend that censoring your message was the last thing on your mind.

Then a flash of reality streaks across your brain. What have I done??? Why did I say that??
OMG I don’t want to think about the backlash!

These moments can reek havoc in our homes, on the job, in our relationships or as we are negotiating important contracts or agreements. Unfiltered angry words are actually part of the Seven Deadly Sins, actions and behaviors that we should all resist during our journey in life.

Easier said than done you say. Well, with some practice and advance planning you can prepare for combatting these difficult situations with diplomacy and tact. Skill and confidence. Serenity and courage. The combination creating a systematic manner of managing your anger so that it does not turn into verbal rage.

Here’s a simple three step process that will help you channel your energy in the right direction the next time your blood boils and you just want to lash out with an unfiltered response.

Stop. Think. Then Speak

Stop and let the dust settle. Take stock of entire situation and create some space between you and your antagonist. Silence is your friend! Use it to let the atmosphere quiet until cooler heads can prevail. I have used this technique and have found it to be quite effective, while possibly throwing your adversary off balance.
Think about the circumstances you face. Is a harsh response worth disrupting or losing your job? Or unsettling your household? Or ending a lifelong friendship? Or causing dissension with those who trust and respect you? In these situations, I always ask myself these four powerful words, “Is it worth it?” Review the words that were spoken to you and begin rehearsing a meaningful and thought-provoking response that will minimize collateral damage for you and your antagonist.
Speak and “Take The High Ground!” Those words ring in my head, my heart and my spirit. They are the words my late mother taught me many years ago as a protective mechanism against life’s little cruelties. Take the high ground and choose words meant to bring clarity to a tough situation. If your antagonist blurts out, “You are unfair and totally unqualified for your job! I wish we had a different person leading this team!” assess the accusation, taking time to think about your response, and then measuredly speak in an even tone. Your very body posture and your words can make a huge difference between a negotiated truce and the eruption of World War III. Perhaps you could say, “Marjorie, I understand that you are upset right now and are questioning the decisions I have made. Let’s walk through X, Y, and Z to determine what is making you so angry.” This language pushes the attack back on the antagonist who is then expected to defend the charges made. It’s a method to help you control and manage the situation. It will also require that your antagonist step back and examine the words they have chosen in the attack. By you using deliberate words that avoids profanity, you’re demonstrating maturity and credibility from a leadership perspective.

Words matter! Tone of voice matters! Body language matters! Used correctly, they can signal a powerful message that you understand the anger, but you won’t participate in a shouting match.

Think about this from a proactive perspective. You are going to get get angry sometime in the near future. Preparing for your reaction is how you can control the situation as best as you can.

Three simple actions can work in your favor and diffuse a difficult situation. Stop. Think, Then Speak.

It’s a strategy I have often used, and I encourage you to try it in the future. It will also help you sleep at night when the going gets tough.

-Carole Copeland Thomas

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7/8/2014

Making The Most of Your Industry Conventions: Why NSA/Platform Keeps Me Competitive

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By Carole Copeland Thomas

Last week’s trip to San Diego completed the 16th (or 17th) time I have attended the national convention of the National Speakers Association. I joined in 1995 and immediately registered for that year’s convention held in Minneapolis, Minnesota. With a few exceptions I have attended the convention each year.

During last week’s event, the leadership team announced an association name change: Old name: National Speakers Association to New Name: Platform. The dramatic change has certainly caused some debate within our circles, but at least I am glad to have heard the announcement in person instead of third hand.

The workshops, early morning sessions, late night community forums and hallway chatter made for a value added experience. The trip provided the opportunity for me to keep current within my industry and reinforce connections with other speakers, thought leaders, trainers, consultants and entertainers who like me are engaged in the business of communications.

Additionally I learned about the latest technology and reviewed new avenues of income designed to keep this business competitive and relevant to our client base.

JUSTIFIED COSTS

The NSA/Platform national convention was NOT an inexpensive investment. With airfare, hotel, and a significant registration fee, attending the convention in San Diego put a dent in my budget. But the return on my investment will more than make up for the money I spent to get to California and back.

The same holds true for you and your industry. Be it the National Education Association convention, the National Black MBA Association, The National Bar Association or the American Medical Association...industry conventions keep you up to date on the latest trends and techniques in your field of work.

And it’s no different when attending social justice conventions, faith based conferences or sporting conventions. These national and often international experiences are designed to raise the level of awareness and advocacy for each attendee who will then take home the new knowledge and share with others.

All conventions are different. NSA/Platform conventions combined education with entertainment. Because most attendees are bankrolling the cost, they’ll get up at 6am grab breakfast and pack the morning general assembly to hear the headline speaker of the hour. Very few NSA/Platform attendees skip a day’s worth of sessions that they financed themselves. When it’s your money that underwrites your convention costs, you’ll do what it takes to fully engage in the experience each and every day that you’re there.

AFTER YOU GET HOME THE FOLLOW UP BEGINS

And then it’s the job of following up on all of the business card leads, website downloads and congratulatory emails that will keep you occupied for the month after the annual convention has ended. That’s what I am doing now that I’ve returned from San Diego and ramping up for the rest of 2014. And when I watch last week’s video clips and look at countless photos, I realize that my business development investment was well worth the price.

Whatever your career path, business journey or professional pursuit, an annual convention can energize your materials, keep you fresh, enhance your perspective and help you maintain your competitive advantage.

So...start now to save for next year’s conference/convention/seminar for your industry. Attend. Get involved. Offer your leadership. Volunteer. All will help move you to higher heights in your field of study, business, profession or career path.

Happy Travels To You!

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Your Comments Are Welcome.

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1/30/2014

25 Ways To Measure How Well You Manage Diversity w/ Simma Lieberman

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Focus On Empowerment can be heard every Thursday at 1pm Eastern.
Log Onto: www.blogtalkradio.com/globalcarole
Listen LIVE or Download Anytime
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Today’s show examines where the rubber meets the road with veteran diversity and LGBT professional Simma Lieberman. She’s developed 25 fool-proof ways to determine the effectiveness of your diversity strategy in your company, organization or community. Take out your pen and scorecard and determine if diversity is real or imaginary in your establishment.

I’ll also debut my 4th book entitled: My Personal Journal: Chronicle Your Life One Day At A Time. It provides the perfect way to jumpstart a surefire way to create a steady stream of journal entries every single day. And you’ll learn how Carole has amassed nearly 40 volumes of journal entries over the past 17 years.

And finally you’ll find out why you should attend the upcoming February 11th Black History Breakfast if you live anywhere near Boston.

About Simma Lieberman
Diversity and Inclusion/Culture Change Consultant

Simma Lieberman is internationally known as "The Inclusionist," because she creates inclusive cultures where people love to do their best work, and customers love to do business. She is a diversity and inclusion/culture change consultant, speaker, and coach.

She has the unique ability to bring people together from diverse, disparate backgrounds to engage in constructive dialogue that results in dramatic improvements in the way they interact , and work with each other.

Simma was raised in the Bronx, New York where she developed a passion for diversity and inclusion. She moved to Eugene, Oregon which was her first culture shock, and now lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Simma is a member of the Diversity Community Exchange (DiCE), a multi-cultural organization of people in the US and Europe, who are well-known for their ability to facilitate dialogues amongst people from different racial, ethnic, cultural, and religious backgrounds, political beliefs, genders, ages and sexual orientation.

Simma has worked with organizations that include; Diageo, Motorola, ABM Janitorial, Pillsbury Bakeries and Foodservice, Kimpton Hotels and Restaurants, Chevron, Briefings Media, Kaiser Permanente, City of San Francisco, Lockheed Martin, American Empresarial.

Her articles and advice have been featured in publications like; Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Forbes.com, Fast Company, Newsday, CNN.com, Fox.com, Black MBA, Restaurant Hospitality, Managing Diversity Journal, Workforce Diversity Network, and Your Cheating Spouse.com

Simma is co-author of two books. "Putting Diversity to Work, how to successfully lead a diverse workforce," (Crisp, 2003) and, "The Diversity Calling; building diverse communities, one story at a time." Simma is a co-host of SWIRL radio, an LGBT produced talk show that can be heard on AM radio in several cities across the US and on-line. She is a former co-chair of the San Francisco Regional Council of Out and Equal.

Simma lives in Berkeley, CA with her 17 year old son and their four year old dog.

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YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME!

How To Download Today's Show
•Can't listen live??? No problem.
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9/8/2011

Today's Radio Program at 1pm Eastern: 30 Minutes With Carole Copeland Thomas

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Focus On Empowerment can be heard every Thursday at 1pm Eastern.
Log Onto: www.blogtalkradio.com/globalcarole
Listen LIVE or Download Anytime

Here's an ideal opportunity to learn more about Carole Copeland Thomas, her business philosophy, how she started her company and her plans for future endeavors. Carole opened a temporary employment agency in 1987 after business school, a MBA degree, a corporate job. a husband and three children. Now fast forward 24 years later, she's a grandmother on a mission to connect the world in conversation about multiculturalism, empowerment, global diversity and leadership issues.

Learn more about the launch of her September Webinar Series, her upcoming 5th Multicultural Conference on October 27th and Membership opportunities in the Multicultural Symposium Series.

It's a rare opportunity to sit back and learn from one of the earlier diversity professionals in the industry.

And before or after you listen to the show, visit Carole's newly launched website: www.mssconnect.com. And explore all of the webpages of this site, www.tellcarole.com. You'll be amazed what you discover.

Enjoy the journey!

Your comments are always welcome below.

How To Download Today's Show

•Can't listen live??? No program
•After The Broadcast...Go To www.blogtalkradio.com/globalcarole
•On My Homepage Next To My Picture Click On The RSS Feed
(It's orange and has RSS on it)
•Select Today's Show
•Download As A MPEG File For Macs or Windows Files Fro PCs
•The Broadcast will play on your computer,
Laptop, iPod, iPhone, or any other MP3 Listening Device

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Stop, Think and Then Speak: How To Get Through Tough Times When You Want To Lash Out

Making The Most of Your Industry Conventions: Why NSA/Platform Keeps Me Competitive

25 Ways To Measure How Well You Manage Diversity w/ Simma Lieberman

Today's Radio Program at 1pm Eastern: 30 Minutes With Carole Copeland Thomas

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